Crying loudly...

I was sitting in my hotel room recounting the funeral service and its effect on me. Then I burst into a steady stream of uncontrollable tears... Not usually like me. In fact my wife said in our 2.5 years of marriage- (and 2 years of dating), she has never seen me cry like that.

A really good friend of mine had his father pass away quite suddenly. The loss must be incalculable. His father was a joyful, Christian man who loved the Lord. In fact, the eulogy and all the speeches said of him, strongly motivated me to love my wife more, and live for God's glory. I sensed his incredible love for his wife, and could taste it in the slideshow. In this slideshow, almost every picture was of him and his wife and family.

He was a man who lived with a Christ-like love - toward his sons, and grandchildren and perhaps mostly toward his wife. A clear portrayal of Eph 5:25 of Husbands loving their wives as Christ loved the church, giving Himself up for her... I wondered what his relationship with his wife really was like.

There was a beautiful picture of him framed at his own funeral. This picture was awesome. It was a close up of him smiling and you could sense his happiness. Knowing something of him, I was greatly encouraged to see him pursue Seminary studies admist his retirement. I was even more touched at his ministry he helped blossom in a central CA city admist the local Chinese. What fruit for God's glory! It reminds me of Psalm 92: 14They will still (AC)yield fruit in old age; They shall be [a]full of sap and very green"... But he was not old. Mid 60's.

A man who died well. Who loved his wife, family, and the Lord Jesus Christ. Where you could sense this love deeply at his own funeral. A jam packed crowd - overflowing even to the outside with standing room only, paying their respects.

So... what really propelled me into tears, and even so as I write this is at the burial itself. You have these 4 green chairs, that are nicely positioned for family to sit during the burial service. And who sat there was mainly his wife. She was there with her grandkids and daughter in law. She was sitting there holding that picture I wrote about earlier. She brought the picture out, which was a sign of her deep love for him. She was holding this picture, and embracing it... all I could do was cry out of such a loss. She is losing the greatest man she loved the most. And he was an awesome man who loved his family like no other. She was holding this picture and just clutching on to it with such affection. You could see it a mile away. I mean she just missed him so, so , so much. I got the sense that she loved him more and more as the years went on.

I would love for my marriage to look like his. I would love to even experience a taste of his love for his wife-.

There is joy admist all this suffering. A joy in this man's God. A joy in God's glorious gospel.
A joy in knowing that this man, though he dies on earth, enters into his ultimate hope- Christ Himself, face to face in heaven for eternity.

I cannot begin to understand the Lord's ways as He decided to take him home. I have been reading with Peggy- Jerry Bridges book on God's sovereignty and suffering and was comforted in that there are 3 essential truths that are always true and to be relied upon admist adversity:

1. God is completely sovereign
2. God is infinite in wisdom
3. God is perfect in love.

I do pray for my friend, his family , and especially for his mom that God would provide the grace and comfort needed during such a difficult time.

Chris