There was a book I recieved in the mail from Truth for Life called: Come Thou Long expected Jesus. I was sharing with Peggy last night some thoughts on the Wise Men and Matthew 2:1-12 that was an excerpt from JC Ryle. It is always good for me to remind myself over and over of things that impact me from the Scripture. So he was saying : that:" these verses show us a splendid example of spiritual diligence". What trouble must it have taken for the wise me to travel 'from the east" to see Christ. There were for sure huge dangers on the road during those times. Ryle then says: " It would be well for all professing Christians if they were more ready to follow the example of these good me. Where is our self-denial? What pains do we take about means of grace? What diligence do we show about following Christ? What does our religion cost us? These are serious questions. They deserve seriour consideration. The truly ' wise' , it may be feared, are very few."
So I began to reflect and think what habe I done concerning diligence about following hard after Christ and denying myself in our comfort-soaked sulture.? Not sure much. except use my time to grow in God's word to the best that I can ... but is this really self denial? Listening to sermons while jogging and attending church and HG? Isnt this just a joy to us to grow in the Bible and its application / obedience in our lives? I have been really thinking that my religion has not cost me much this past year... which is what I'd like to change in 2010. Wondering what it is like to take risks and live with this idea of self -denial daily concerning the Christian life.
Chris
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
some thoughts on recurring themes in my communication
Dear brothers, What struck me most in this chapt was on p40. "WE are the common element in all of our communication problems" It reminded me of the contentment retreat how Mark A. was saying that the flesh is the cause of most discontentment. Tripp says we should not minimize our problem, which is what I do. I tend to think of myself: " I am not that bad, my heart is gradually being changed, and I know my words need work, but im not that bad..." So in reflecting on p.49) he asks what are your communication weaknesses and recognize recurring themes... I think when I get irritated at Peggy, I tend to blame OTHER things rather than my flesh and sinfulnature. I would say something like, Man Im just hungry and I will say often: "Im sorry" I have learned what is more beneficial is to ask for forgiveness instead of just saying sorry, for something I am not sure about except that our fellowship is slightly hindered due to my harsh talk. I think another recurring theme for me is when peggy asks me to do stuff.. I'll often retort if im irritable can it wait until after... or, think in my heart: I've got to finish my task now, or Im comfortable just doing what im doing now... (not sure if any of this is clear) The main point is that I see a quickness to respond harshly at times, as if she is invading on my time. I want to be gentle and speak kindly and the truth in love. I think the advice already written of pausing before you speak is huge. I think I need to re-read that end section on Eph 1:15-23 that Tripp speaks about the resources we have for our struggle with words. Chris
Thursday, December 3, 2009
War of words ch1
. Just last week Peggy made a slow-cooker bean stew which she has made in the past and I would rate it a 5/10 on my taste scale from before (just my own preference) ( I never really told her my thoughts on it as well, I just said something like oh its good. )- It was a north African stew and had cinnamon, ginger and all sorts of spices and strong flavors. So I said something like, “ we don’t really like that kind of dish too much , do we?” So I said this around 7 pm and the rest of the evening was filled with a break in fellowship and general tension as I tried to take back the words I said. I tried to justify myself in saying:” I didn’t mean that Pegs. I really love your cooking and am so thankful you thought to cook for me>” I then realized that I really am speaking out of the overflow of my heart which is deicetful above all things. I then later told her that I could not justify what I said, but ask for forgiveness from my self-centered, unthankful heart- which manifested itself in such words. I then stated again and again how thankful I really am for her and her love for me. I then tried the stew and it was delicious. She was confused. Thinking:” I thought he didn’t like it, where now he is saying he does.” So In this circumstance, I tried to preach the gospel to myself and see my harmful words as an indication of the blackness of my old-self, / sinful nature, and repent to the Lord for being quick to speak, praying:” I really need a new heart Lord. One that beats for Christ and His glory.” Not sure if this even answers the question, but my words are often spoken with a self directed focus. I hope that in reading this book I will be more focused on the Lord w my words. I treid to re-direct the focus to God’s glory and then my heart was reminded more of Gods goodness to me in all circumstances. On a side note: what struck me most out of this ch1 was the statement on p12. “We only know ourselves when we listen to the words he has spoken about us.” I was thinking about Rom 3:1-20 recently and meditating on the verses and it brings to mind how sharply the Scripture speaks of our nature: the clarity in how it speaks of our speech prior to justification: v13-15.: their throats are open graves, their tongues practice deceit, the poison of vipers is on their lips, their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness.” I never thought of my speech life that sinful before the Lord changed my heart, and how it still has remnants of this speech.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Respectable Sins, by Jerry Bridges
Some notes from a very solid and serious book about sin!
Read only if you want to deal with sin seriously!
Chris
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Directions for Dealing with sins:
Deal with it always in context of the Gospel. Remember that God has forgiven us b/c the death of Christ. Col 2:13-14, and also has credited us the righteousness of Christ ( Rom 3:21-22; Phil 3:9)
Rely on the enabling power of the Holy Spirit. –we tend to forget this and resort to our willpower- we are always in constant need of the enabling power of the Holy Spirit. i.e.) our spiritual life is the motor, and this motor is dependent on the external power source of the electricity. Cultivate an attitude of continual dependence on the Holy Spirit.
We must recognize our responsibility to pursue practical steps to deal with sin. “Work as if it all depends on you, and yet trust as if you did not work at all.”
We must identify specific areas of acceptable sins. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you see the sin patterns. Give thought as to what situations trigger it.
Bring the Scripture that apply to each of these subtle sins. These memorized Scriptures must be applied to our lives.
Cultivate the practice of prayer over the sins we tolerate. This is tied in with the #2 relying on the Holy Spirit and #5 on memorizing Scripture.
Involve one or more believers with our struggles against sin. Seek to mutually exhort, encourage, and pray for one another. ( Eccl 4:9-10)
List of sins:
Ungodliness 6. Pride 11. Anger
Anxiety 7. Selfishness 12. Judgementalism
Frustration 8. Lack of self control 13. Envy, Jealousy
Discontentment 9. Impatience 14. Sins of the tongue
Unthankfulness 10. Irritability 15. Worldliness
Ungodliness
- Is an attitude toward God, while unrighteousness refers to sinful actions in thought, word, or deed.
- Can be defined as living one’s everyday life with little or no thought about God, or of God’s Will, or God’s Glory, or ones dependence on God.
- Like living the remainder of the week as if God did not exist. , OR do a QT in the AM and live the rest of the day without thinking of our dependence on Him.
- A prayer that is God centered Col 1:9-10: P wanted the Colossians to be godly people. Where our prayers reflect a concern for ourselves. ( human centered)
- What does it mean to do all to the Glory of God? – desire all you do to be pleasing to God with even the ordinary ADLs. That God would be honored before other people.
- An indicator of our tendency toward ungodliness is our meager desire to develop our relationship with God.
- 1Tim 4:7-8, 1 Cor 10:31, Col 1:9-10,3:23, Ps 42:1-2, 63:1, 27:4
Anxiety
- Trust in God is the opposite of anxiety and frustration, so anxiety is sin bc it is a distrust of God. IF I give way to anxiety, I in effect believe that God does not care for me and will not take care of me in the particular circumstance that triggers the anxiety.
- Anxiety is a sin b/c it is a lack of acceptance of God’s providence in our lives of His working all events and circumstances for His glory and the Good of His people.
- Accept God’s providential will, and or agenda. But do so with a prayerful spirit- it is appropriate to pray for relief from whatever circumstance is there, but with the confidence that whatever the outcome, Gods plans are better than our desires
- There is a vast difference with Mk 9:24 struggling unbelief v. stubborn unbelief in Mk 6:5-6.
- Verses: Phil 4:6 1Pt 5:7, Mt 6:25-33
Frustration
- Anxiety involves fear, where frustration involves being upset or angry at whatever is blocking our plans. Frustration is often rooted in ungodliness as we live as though God is not behind our circumstances. We fail to recognize Gods invisible hand.
- Ps 139:16- Pray: “Help me respond in faith and in a God-honoring way to Your providential will. Pray for practical wisdom to deal with the situation.
Discontentment
- Frustration is the result of immediate event that has blocked us, whereas Discontentment arises from ongoing, unchanging circumstances that we can do nothing about.
- Most frequent warnings in B are discontent over money and possessions. However a more common form of discontentment is an attitude that may be triggered by unchanging circumstances that are trials to our faith.
- Discontentment can lead to resentment or bitterness toward God and other people
- Very important to have a firm belief in the sovereignty, wisdom and goodness of God in all the circumstances of our lives
Unthankfulness
- Lk 17:11-19: Spiritually our condition was far worse than the physical disease of leprosy. We were dead!
- Our lives should be continual thanksgiving because Acts 17:25.
- How often do we thank God for his gracious provision in the ability to do our job or, our items of home decoration?
- Eph 5:20: Give thanks always and everything!!
- -1 Thess 5:18- we are to give thanks in all circumstances, where as in Eph 5:20 it is for everything.
- As we cling to the promises of God in Rom 8:28-29 and 38-39, “Father, the circumstance I am in now is difficult and painful. I would not have chosen it, but You in Your love and wisdom chose it for me and intended it for my good. So By faith, I thank you for the good you are going to do in my life through it. Help me to genuinely believe this and to thank you from my heart.
Pride
1. Pride of Moral Self righteousness
2. Pride of correct doctrine
3. Pride of achievement
4. Pride of an independent spirit
- God opposes the proud – Jas 4:6, 1 Pt 5:5
Pride of Moral self righteousness- found in the pride of the Pharisee- Lk 18. This is the spirit of contempt toward those who practice flagrant sins such as easy divorce, abortion, drunkenness, drug use. This may be the most common subtle sin second only to ungodliness.
- We get a perverse enjoyment out of discussing how awful society around us is becoming.
- No-one is naturally morally upright, so if we seek to live morally upright lives, it is only bc the grace of God has prevailed in us.
- Rather than feeling morally superior to those who practice flagrant sins, we ought to feel deeply grateful that God has kept us or rescued us from such a lifestyle.
- A good example of how to guard against this pride is to pray like Ezra in 9:6, where he identified himself with their sin, of the people.
Pride of Correct doctrine.
- This is a pride in our particular belief system, whatever that may be, and an attitude that in our beliefs we are spiritually superior to those who hold other beliefs.
- 1 Cor 8: Paul is addressing an issue of food offered to idols, some thought this was a practice that is within the bound of Christian liberty. Paul did not disagree with this conclusion, but did rebuke these people that had doctrinal pride that resulted from this belief. “This knowledge had puffed them up, Paul agreed with their “knowledge” af eating food offered to idols.
- If your Calvinism etc… or other views causes you to feel doctrinally superior to those, you are probably guilty of doctrinal pride.
- We should develop doctrinal convictions about what the Scriptures teach, but that we should hold our convictions in humility, realizing that many Godly and theologically capable people hold other convictions.
- Ex: Bridges was asked to comment about a book that taught a system of sanctification with which he strongly disagreed. He wrote: “Please note that I am saying ‘things with which I disagree’, not things wherein he(the author) is wrong. I may find out when I get to heaven that I am the one who was wrong.”
- Memorize 1 cor 8:1. Seek to pinpoint precise areas where you tend to be doctrinally proud, and ask God to enable you to hold your convictions with a genuine spirit of humility.
Pride of Achievement
- There is generally a cause and effect relationship with hard work and success in any endeavor – Prov 13:4 , However… the Bible teaches that success in any endeavor is under the sovereign control of God ( 1 Sam 2:7, Ps 75: 6-7, Haggai 1:5-6)
- 1 Cor 4:6- What’d do you have that you did not receive?... You have nothing that did not come to you as a gift from God.
- IT is like talking about our success of our children without acknowledgement of the gracious blessing of God.
- I.e.- Our son graduated from Stanford with summa cum laude… but to say something like: We deeply acknowledge that Johns abilities come from God and we are grateful to Him.
- Another aspect of this pride of achievement is the inordinate desire for recognition. What if we do a specific job well, and doing our job unto the Lord and we don’t get any recognition?
- Lk 17:10 “ we are unworthy servants, we have only done what was our duty.” When we have done a job well done, or served faithfully over a long time, our attitude should be,” I have only done my duty.”
- We should learn that all recognition is ultimately from God. “All if of grace” I deserve nothing, and all I do receive is only of His grace.
Pride of an Independent Spirit
- This spirit is expresses primarily in:
1. A resistance to Spiritual authority
2. an unteachable attitude
- an example of this is a single man judging others child rearing without experience himself!
Heb 13:17.”Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls…”
- an example of resistance to spiritual authority and an unteachable spirit is: “Well, I think thus and such.” No appeal to Scripture is made; it is only the person’s opinon. Yet in his or her mind, that opinion is authoritative. There is no willingness to grapple with the teaching of Scripture.
- Bible strongly teaches the value on a teachable attitude:
- Proverbs 2:1, 3:1, 4:1, 5:1, 7:1. – Isa 66:2
- These Proverbs all express the principle of teachability: willingness, even a desire, to learn from those more mature in the faith.
Selfishness
- Four areas that it may express itself:
1. with our interests – Phil 2:4- look toward the interests of others.
- Be sensitive to ask others what their interests are such as work, hobbies, and children.
- A good test of the degree of selfishness in our interests would be to reflect on the conversation you had with someone and ask how much time you spent talking about your interests versus listening to the other.
- 2 Tim 3:1-5”lovers of self”
2. with our time.
- seldom there is a “ I’ll take care of that for you.” In marriages, yet the B says in Gal 6:2- we are to ‘bear one another’s burdens’ This can be done by going beyond our normal duties to help someone.
3. with our money.
- poor giving- us, Americans are the richest nation , yet only less than 2% of income is given to religious and charitable causes.
WE are to Romans 12:15: to rejoice , and weep with those who weep.
1 Jn 3:17
4. The trait of Inconsiderateness:
- this person who is always late and keeps others waiting, and never thinks about the impact of his actions on others.
- the person whose attitude is” I just say what I think and let the chips fall where they may” is selfishly inconsiderate, because he is not thinking about the possible embarrassment, and put down of others, but only expressing his own opinion.
- the greatest aspect of unselfishness is Jesus Christ in 2 Cor 8:9, and we are to cultivate that same frame of mind ( Phil 2:5)
- Living unselfishly will COST our time and money! It will cost becoming interested in the interests, concerns and needs of others.
- IT would be good to ask those family members to point out any tendencies toward selfishness.
Lack of Self Control
- Prov 25:28- “ A man without self control is like a city broken into and left without walls”
- Solomon is an example with 700 wives and 300 concubines from other lands where the Lord said he should not take wives.
- Listed in Gal 5:22-23 and in 2 Tim 3:3 a list of vices characteristic in the last days.
- Instructions to Titus to teach self control in Titus 2:2,5,6. Also the grace that brings salvation teaches us to live self controlled lives 2:11-12.
- 1 Pt 1:13, 4:7, 5:8, 2 Pt 1:5 Peter urges us to be soberminded or self controlled.
- There is little conscious attention by Christians to this teaching on self- control.
- We seldom say “no” to our desires and emotions.
- Definition: “ It is a governance or prudent control of one’s desires, cravings, impulses, emotions, and passions. IT is moderation in legitimate desires and activities, and absolute restraint in areas that are sinful.
- Biblical self control is NOT a product of will power. IT covers every area of life and requires an unceasing conflict with the passions of the flesh that wage war against our souls. ( 1 Pt 2:11)- IT is dependent on the influence and enablement of the Holy Spirit.
- IT requires continual exposure of our mind to the Bible and prayer for the Holy Spirit to exercise self-control.
- 3 areas where we often fail to exercise it:
1. Eating and drinking. IT can cause us to see that a benign practice in food can weaken our self control in other more critical areas.
- remove or get away from what tempts us to indulge. This is addressing our lack of self-control with desires that control us.
2. Temper.- Hot tempered: a Quick intense burst of anger followed by a calm disposition. Short fuse: a person who is easily angered or irritable and who exercises little or no control over his emotions.
Warnings against this are in Proverbs 14:17, and 16:32, Jas 1:19
3. Personal finances. Lots of people in debt. Some affluent people indulge in whatever their hearts desire. Eccl 2:10. Indulging in whatever my heart desires, even if I can easily afford it is not the way to gain self control.
- Other areas would include time spent at the computer, TV, buying, hobbies, playing sports, watching sports.
Impatience
- We tend to put our “Christian face” outside the home, but with our families, our true character comes out.
- These traits are closely related.
- Impatience: a strong sense of annoyance at the (usually) unintentional faults and failures of others. This impatience is often expressed verbally in a way that tends to humiliate the person who is the object of the impatience.
- This type of impatience is usually a response to the unintentional actions of others.
- The actual Cause of impatience lies within our hearts. The circumstances of life (i.e. with our family merely provide an opportunity for the flesh to assert itself.)
- WE can be impatient about the slowness of service in a store, or restaurant. Such that you are at the post office and only want to buy stamps and the guy in front of you has 10 overseas packages to mail.
- You might want to ask your spouse to identify areas of impatience in your life. We need to acknowledge and repent of our sin of impatience.
- Verses: 1 Cor 13, Eph 4: 1-2, Col 3:12, Gal 5:22-23
Irritability
- Defined as: the frequency of impatience, or the ease with which a person can become impatient over the slightest provocation. The person who easily and frequently becomes impatient is an irritable person. Most of us can become impatient at times, but the irritable person is impatient most of the time. The irritable person is one whom you feel you have to “tiptoe around”
- Are you upset with someone or circumstance a lot of the time? You may need to learn to overlook their unintentional actions.
- Prov 19:11 ‘ It is ones glory to overlook an offense.” And 1Pt 4:8 “ Love covers a multitude of sins.
“Now suppose you are someone who is frequently the object of another’s person’s impatience. Suppose you are often criticized, chewed out, how should you respond? All to often a person will respond in kind, thus starting “ a war or words.” This approach is not only nonproductive, it is totally unbiblical. Or you may be the type who doesn’t respond verbally but inwardly seethes and resents the person who has vented his or her impatience at you. This is also a sinful response.
- what then is the Biblical response?
- 2 options:
Follow the example of Jesus who in 1 Pt 2:23 did not revile in return, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. Sometimes this may be your only Biblical option.
To confront the person who is continually impatient toward you and point out to the person examples of his or her impatience. This should only be done when you have resolved the issue in your own heart and can speak to the other person for his or her benefit, not just to make your own life more pleasant. If you have done this in a biblical manner and the person accepts what you say, you have likely enhanced your relationship w one another ( Mt 18:15)
If the person is in denial about the impatience and becomes hostile and defensive, you revert to option 1. TO do this, requires a firm belief in the sovereignty of God in every situation of life. God is likely using this persons sinful actions to help you grow in the Biblical virtues of patience and meekness ( Num 12:1-3)
“May we be as severe with ourselves over our own subtle sins as we are with the vile sins we condemn in others” May we not be like the self Righteous Pharisee.
Anger
- Anger is often directed toward those we love the most: spouse& children.
- Defined as a strong feeling of displeasure, and usually of antagonism.
- It is often accompanied by sinful emotions, words, and actions that are hurtful.
- Righteous Anger: it arise from an accurate perception of true evil—a violation against God’s moral law.
- It is always self-controlled. There is never a temper loss.
What we are focused on here is “ordinary anger” that we sort of accept as part of our lives but is actually sinful.
- Realize that no-one causes us to be angry. Someone’s words may be the occasion of our anger, but the cause lies deep within us. Usually our pride, selfishness, and desire to control. i.e.) we may be angry when someone mistreats up, or gossips about us. This is bc our reputation is questioned and our pride is the real cause!
- Usually it is pride and selfishness which are the cause of anger which lies within our hearts/
- We get angry when we don’t get our own way, such as in a marriage
- a strong and opinionated person wants to exercise control and gets angry when others oppose him.
- - 1Peter 2:18-20: “mindful of God”
- To be mindful of God means to think of God’s will and glory. How would God have me respond in this situation? Do we believe that this unjust treatment is under Gods sovereign control and he is using these circumstances to conform me more to the likeness of Christ?
- Anger can be handled 3 ways:
externalized through hurtful words
externalized through subtle sarcastic and belittling comments
internalized in the form of resentment.
How do we handle it in a God-honoring way?
Recognize it.
Acknowledge it- the sinfulness of it.
- ask yourself why you became angry? Was it because of our pride, selfishness, or idol of the heart?
We need to not only repent, but to change our attitude toward the person whose words triggered our anger. ( Eph 4:32)
Seek forgiveness of the person we have wounded by our anger.
Hand over to God the occasion of our anger.
Anger toward God
-Some Christians are angry bc they think that God has let them down in some way or actually against them. Most pop psychology would say it is ok to be angry against God and to vent your feelings toward God.
- It is never ok to be angry at God, bc it accuses Him of wrongdoing, and or treating us unfairly.
- We should bring our confusion to God in a humble and trusting way.
The Weeds of Anger
- Lists of anger is included in 2 Cor 12:20. It leads to more serious sins:
- Bitterness, wrath, slander, malice, obscene talk, clamor.
- Eph 4:26- “nip it in the bud.” Get over it quickly.
- Long term results of anger- “ weeds of anger” Weeds are always something we want to rid of.
Resentment
-is anger held on to- most often it is internalized and arises in the heart of a person who is ill treated in some way.
- usually difficult to deal with bc the person is continuing to nurse his wounds and dwell on his ill – treatment.
Bitterness
-is resentment that has grown into a feeling of ongoing animosity.
-resentment may dissipate with time, but bitterness continues to grow and fester, developing even a higher degree of ill will. Usually a long term reaction to wrong when the initial anger is not dealt with.
“I’ve forgiven him, but don’t want anything to do with him” This is not true forgiveness which results in a restored relationship and not continuing animosity.
Key thought: Anger held onto is not only sin, but is spiritually dangerous.
Anger is never static. If not dealt with, it will grow into bitterness, hostility and revenge minded grudges.
How to deal with anger using 3 basic directions:
Always look to the sovereignty of God. A firm belief in the sovereignty of God is the first defense against a temptation to allow anger to linger in the mind and emotions. Realize that the persons actions tempting you to anger are under the sovereign control of God.
We should pray that God will enable us to grow in love. 1 pt 4:8. Peter urges the readers to pursue holiness even in really rough times. In 4:8 love enables us to overlook a lot of sinful actions of other people. Love can cover many “ordinary wrongs” 1 Cor 13:5- Love is not easily angered.
Learn to forgive as God has forgiven you. Mt 18:21-35. The clear msg is that the moral debt of wrongdoing or sinful actions and words against us is nothing compared to our debt to God. So the basis of our forgiving one another is the enormity of God’s forgiveness of us.
Jerry suspects that much of our anger is not a result of significant wrongs against us but rather the manifestation of our own pride and selfishness.
Judgementalism
- subtle sin practiced under the guise of being zealous for what is right.
- There are myriad of opinions on everything from conduct to lifestyle, and we usually assume our opinion is correct.
- We equate our opinions with truth. – ie. Jerry with attire and church, where there is nothing in the Bible what we ought to wear to church. Reverence for God is not a matter of dress, but of the heart.
- Also with Jerrys preference for organ hymns v. contemporary music. IT is just a preference and not a Bible – based conviction.
- Romans 14: One issue was vegetarianism vs. eat what ever you want. Both sides were judgemental toward each other. The vegetarians thought they had the moral hight ground and looked down on their meat eating. The other side thought they had superior knowledge and they knew that what they ate made no difference to God if it was received w thanksgiving (1Tim 4:4) So they were judgemental in a different way.
- There are similar attitudes today with music, where contemporary advocates disdain the traditional.
- The same is true with temperance versus abstinence. Those who regard alcohol use as a matter of Christian liberty and are contemptuous toward those who practice abstinence. We often hide our judgementalism under the cloak of Christian convictions.
- The whole Romans 14 is Pauls response saying” stop judging one another regardless of which position you take.” (14:4- paraphrased: “ Stop trying to play God toward your fellow believers in Christ. God is the Judge, not you.”
- When we judge others whos preferences and practices are different from ours, we are arrogating to ourselves a role God has reserved for Himself.
- The seriousness of the sin of judgemntalism is that I assume the role of God.
- When a person’s lifestyle is clearly out of line with the Bible, we have a right to say that person is sinning. Lists such as Rom 1:24-32, Gal 5:19-21, 2 Tim 3:1-5.
- We can still sin when we judge in accordance with Scripture. We do so if we judge from an attitude of self-righteousness or if we judge harshly or with a spirit of censoriousness.
Doctrinal Judgmentalism
- Some teachers, claiming they are evangelical are denying Christ’s substitutionary atonement. They state that it is better to focus on the life of Christ rather than the cross, and they downplay the death of Christ saying we are meant to follow as an example his life. Sometimes Jerry has disagreed so strongly with them that he has slipped into the sin of judgementalism.
- We should express our disagreements, but should do so in a way that does not degenerate into character assassination, when we become easily hypercritical.
A Critical spirit
- Those who not only practice the sin of judgementalism from time to time, but who practice it continually. They look for and find fault with everyone and everything.
- They end up speaking in a disparaging manner.
- We understand that some of our acceptable sins, such as selfishness, impatience, and anger, are often expressed more freely at home among our family members than in public, which is also true of judgementalism. Sometimes one spouse is a continual faultfinder with another to the point where the child or adult of continual criticism begins to think he or she can’t do anything right!
- an example of a father critciszing his daughter and she felt like a reject herslf.
- It takes 7 compliments to outdo one criticism.
- Some of Jerry’s friends disagree with the manner of dress and music, but he respects their thinking and would not want to change their convictions at all.
- He takes a similar position like Paul – Rom 14:5” Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind”- Paul did not try and change anyones convictions regarding what they ate or the special days they observed.
- We don’t like ambiguity in Christian practice. IT is difficult for us to accept that one persons’s opinion can be different from ours and both of us be accepted by God. But what Paul says in Rom 14 is that if we hold our convictions with humility, it will help us avoid judgementatlism.
Envy, Jealousy & related Sins
- Envy is the painful and oftentimes resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by someone else.
- We are tempted to envy those with whom we most closely identify.
- We are tempted to envy in areas we value the most.
- When we compare ourselves to anyone whose circumstances seem better than ours we are tempted to envy.
Jealousy
- There is a subtle distinction between these two.
- Jealousy is defined as intolerance of rivalry. There are legit reasons for jealousy such as when someone is trying to win your wife away from you. Ex 20:5, God is jealous. Sinful jealousy is when we are afraid someone is going to become equal to or even superior to us.
- Ex in Acts 5:17-18 where the Jewish authorities were jealous of the apostles. Also king Saul’s jealousy of David.
- In our lives, there always seems to be a younger person coming along who is smarter or more talented than we are.
- How do we deal? First as in so many other areas, turn to the Sovereignty of God. Recognize that Gid is the one who gives us our talents, abilities.
- 1Sam 2:7, Ps 75:7
- Instead of being envious of those who have an advantage over us, we should honor and applaud them- bc Rom 12:10- outdo one another in showing honor- realizing Rom 12:5- that each member belongs to all the others.
Competitiveness
- The urge to always win, or be the top person in whatever our field of endeavor is.
- There are grown men who lose their temper when they lost or their son lost a ball game.
- Competitiveness is basically an expression of selfishness. It is the urge to win at someone elses expense and is certainly not loving our neighbor as ourselves.
- Our culture has elevated competitiveness to a virtue, saying this is the way one gets ahead in the world. However, it is questionable if it is a Christian virtue. We should do our bes ( 2Tim 2:15), and Col3:23, but this should be motivated by a desire to Glorify God and not recognition for ourselves.
- Jerry is not arguing for friendly competition, but the spirit that always has to win or be the best.
Controlling
- Envy, jealousy and competitiveness are all grouped under one word: rivalry.
- Controlling is a sin of seeking to control others to our advantage or to get what we want.
- Ie)”she wants to control everything, she always wants to get her way.”
- Usually done by the one who has the stronger, more dominant personality.
- The controller will seek to get his or her way using various methods:
o By sheer force of willpower
o By getting angry when she is questioned.
o Resort to manipulation at the end.
- this springs from selfishness. The controller is the last one to recognize this sin.
Sins of the Tongue
- Gossip, lying, slander, critical speech (Even when true), harsh words, insults, sarcasm, and ridicule. Any word that tends to tear down another person.
- Eph 4:29: no corrupting talk, none whatsoever.
- Gossip: spreading unfavorable info about someone else even if it is true.
- This seems to feed our sinful ego, especially when the infor is negatibe, it makes us feel self –righteous by comparison.
- Ask yourself:” Will what I’m about to say tend to tear down, or build up the person I’m about to talk about?
- Slander: is making a false statement about another person that damages the person’s reputation. We slander when we say a certain believer is “not commited” when he does not practice the same disciplines we do.
- Critical speech: is negative comments about someone that may be true, but doesn’t need to be said. Ie- he is not a good student.
- Ask ourselves these questions: IS it needful? Is it kind? Does it need to be said?
- harshwords, sarcasm, insults, and ridicule, and these all tend to put down or humiliate the other person. This often comes from an attitude of impatience or anger. Mt 12:34. The real problem is our heart.
Worldliness
- is a much broader than just a list of prohibited activites.
- 1 Jn 2:15-16 , 1 Cor 7:31 “those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. – we should use the things of the world and handle them with care, lest they become too important to us.
- Defined as: being attached to, engrossed in, or preoccupied with the things of this temporal life.
- Col 3:2- we should focus and value most spiritual things such as: the Bible, prayer, the gospel, obedience, and the great commission and God Himself.
- Secondary definition: it means accepting the values, mores and practices of the nice, but unbelieving society around us without discerning wheter those practices are biblical. Worldliness is just going along with the culture around us as long as that culture is not obviously sinful.
- Three areas that have become acceptable sins to us are money, immorality and idolatry.
- Money
- We are keeping more to ousrselves and using it on things of this life- houses, cars, clothes etc..
- NT giving is to give as God has prospered us- 1 Cor 16:2, 2 Cor 8:12)
- Is God pleased when we give less than half of what the Jews gave, especially when HE described their failure to give their tithe as robbery of Him ( Mal 3:8)
- We cannot serve God and money and it appears that money is winning out over God. If money wins out in our lives, , then 1 Tim 6:10- then we lose. God does not need our money. If we spend it on ourselves, it is we who become spiritual paupers.
- Meditate on 1 Kings 17:8-16- Fed Elijah first , then God has always provided.
- Deut 8:17-18: realize that our ability to earn comes from God. Giving back 10% is a tangible expression of our recognition of our thanksgiving to Him for it.
Immorality:
- In what sense do we tolerate immorality?
- Vicrious immorality: Do we secretly enjoy reading about the immorality of other people whose sezual misconduyct is reported in the news?
- If we go to movies, or rd novels about sexuallt explicit sins, will be vicarious immorality.
- Prv 27:20 and Rom 6:21- vs immorality
Idolatry
- “ idols of the heart”: anything we place such a high value on that it tends to absorb our emotional and mental energy, time or resources. Or it can be anything that takes precedence over our relationship with God and family.
- Career can become an idol where God and family take 2nd place.
- Also cultural or political issues can be areas of idolatry, where we stand to support marriage v. homosexuality and life v. abortion.
- Also 3rd area is our consuming passion for sports. Keep sports in perspective. Its only a game.
- We tend toward worldliness bc we just go along with the values and practices around society.
Thomas Chalmers: “ The Expulsive, Power of a New Affection”
The way to grow in our new affection is to grow in our awareness of Christ love for us as revealed to us in the Gospel.
- Paul said that Christs love for us that constrains us. Such love for Him that will drive out our love for the world can only be a response to the deep, heartfelt sense of His love for us.
- The worse sin is the denial of the subtle sins in our lives.
Ask for honest feedback from your spouse. Do not respond and just listen. Do not become defensive. Ask them to rate you in each area according to a scale:
- not a problem
- occasionally a problem
- frequently a problem
- Characteristic of your life.
Read only if you want to deal with sin seriously!
Chris
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Directions for Dealing with sins:
Deal with it always in context of the Gospel. Remember that God has forgiven us b/c the death of Christ. Col 2:13-14, and also has credited us the righteousness of Christ ( Rom 3:21-22; Phil 3:9)
Rely on the enabling power of the Holy Spirit. –we tend to forget this and resort to our willpower- we are always in constant need of the enabling power of the Holy Spirit. i.e.) our spiritual life is the motor, and this motor is dependent on the external power source of the electricity. Cultivate an attitude of continual dependence on the Holy Spirit.
We must recognize our responsibility to pursue practical steps to deal with sin. “Work as if it all depends on you, and yet trust as if you did not work at all.”
We must identify specific areas of acceptable sins. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you see the sin patterns. Give thought as to what situations trigger it.
Bring the Scripture that apply to each of these subtle sins. These memorized Scriptures must be applied to our lives.
Cultivate the practice of prayer over the sins we tolerate. This is tied in with the #2 relying on the Holy Spirit and #5 on memorizing Scripture.
Involve one or more believers with our struggles against sin. Seek to mutually exhort, encourage, and pray for one another. ( Eccl 4:9-10)
List of sins:
Ungodliness 6. Pride 11. Anger
Anxiety 7. Selfishness 12. Judgementalism
Frustration 8. Lack of self control 13. Envy, Jealousy
Discontentment 9. Impatience 14. Sins of the tongue
Unthankfulness 10. Irritability 15. Worldliness
Ungodliness
- Is an attitude toward God, while unrighteousness refers to sinful actions in thought, word, or deed.
- Can be defined as living one’s everyday life with little or no thought about God, or of God’s Will, or God’s Glory, or ones dependence on God.
- Like living the remainder of the week as if God did not exist. , OR do a QT in the AM and live the rest of the day without thinking of our dependence on Him.
- A prayer that is God centered Col 1:9-10: P wanted the Colossians to be godly people. Where our prayers reflect a concern for ourselves. ( human centered)
- What does it mean to do all to the Glory of God? – desire all you do to be pleasing to God with even the ordinary ADLs. That God would be honored before other people.
- An indicator of our tendency toward ungodliness is our meager desire to develop our relationship with God.
- 1Tim 4:7-8, 1 Cor 10:31, Col 1:9-10,3:23, Ps 42:1-2, 63:1, 27:4
Anxiety
- Trust in God is the opposite of anxiety and frustration, so anxiety is sin bc it is a distrust of God. IF I give way to anxiety, I in effect believe that God does not care for me and will not take care of me in the particular circumstance that triggers the anxiety.
- Anxiety is a sin b/c it is a lack of acceptance of God’s providence in our lives of His working all events and circumstances for His glory and the Good of His people.
- Accept God’s providential will, and or agenda. But do so with a prayerful spirit- it is appropriate to pray for relief from whatever circumstance is there, but with the confidence that whatever the outcome, Gods plans are better than our desires
- There is a vast difference with Mk 9:24 struggling unbelief v. stubborn unbelief in Mk 6:5-6.
- Verses: Phil 4:6 1Pt 5:7, Mt 6:25-33
Frustration
- Anxiety involves fear, where frustration involves being upset or angry at whatever is blocking our plans. Frustration is often rooted in ungodliness as we live as though God is not behind our circumstances. We fail to recognize Gods invisible hand.
- Ps 139:16- Pray: “Help me respond in faith and in a God-honoring way to Your providential will. Pray for practical wisdom to deal with the situation.
Discontentment
- Frustration is the result of immediate event that has blocked us, whereas Discontentment arises from ongoing, unchanging circumstances that we can do nothing about.
- Most frequent warnings in B are discontent over money and possessions. However a more common form of discontentment is an attitude that may be triggered by unchanging circumstances that are trials to our faith.
- Discontentment can lead to resentment or bitterness toward God and other people
- Very important to have a firm belief in the sovereignty, wisdom and goodness of God in all the circumstances of our lives
Unthankfulness
- Lk 17:11-19: Spiritually our condition was far worse than the physical disease of leprosy. We were dead!
- Our lives should be continual thanksgiving because Acts 17:25.
- How often do we thank God for his gracious provision in the ability to do our job or, our items of home decoration?
- Eph 5:20: Give thanks always and everything!!
- -1 Thess 5:18- we are to give thanks in all circumstances, where as in Eph 5:20 it is for everything.
- As we cling to the promises of God in Rom 8:28-29 and 38-39, “Father, the circumstance I am in now is difficult and painful. I would not have chosen it, but You in Your love and wisdom chose it for me and intended it for my good. So By faith, I thank you for the good you are going to do in my life through it. Help me to genuinely believe this and to thank you from my heart.
Pride
1. Pride of Moral Self righteousness
2. Pride of correct doctrine
3. Pride of achievement
4. Pride of an independent spirit
- God opposes the proud – Jas 4:6, 1 Pt 5:5
Pride of Moral self righteousness- found in the pride of the Pharisee- Lk 18. This is the spirit of contempt toward those who practice flagrant sins such as easy divorce, abortion, drunkenness, drug use. This may be the most common subtle sin second only to ungodliness.
- We get a perverse enjoyment out of discussing how awful society around us is becoming.
- No-one is naturally morally upright, so if we seek to live morally upright lives, it is only bc the grace of God has prevailed in us.
- Rather than feeling morally superior to those who practice flagrant sins, we ought to feel deeply grateful that God has kept us or rescued us from such a lifestyle.
- A good example of how to guard against this pride is to pray like Ezra in 9:6, where he identified himself with their sin, of the people.
Pride of Correct doctrine.
- This is a pride in our particular belief system, whatever that may be, and an attitude that in our beliefs we are spiritually superior to those who hold other beliefs.
- 1 Cor 8: Paul is addressing an issue of food offered to idols, some thought this was a practice that is within the bound of Christian liberty. Paul did not disagree with this conclusion, but did rebuke these people that had doctrinal pride that resulted from this belief. “This knowledge had puffed them up, Paul agreed with their “knowledge” af eating food offered to idols.
- If your Calvinism etc… or other views causes you to feel doctrinally superior to those, you are probably guilty of doctrinal pride.
- We should develop doctrinal convictions about what the Scriptures teach, but that we should hold our convictions in humility, realizing that many Godly and theologically capable people hold other convictions.
- Ex: Bridges was asked to comment about a book that taught a system of sanctification with which he strongly disagreed. He wrote: “Please note that I am saying ‘things with which I disagree’, not things wherein he(the author) is wrong. I may find out when I get to heaven that I am the one who was wrong.”
- Memorize 1 cor 8:1. Seek to pinpoint precise areas where you tend to be doctrinally proud, and ask God to enable you to hold your convictions with a genuine spirit of humility.
Pride of Achievement
- There is generally a cause and effect relationship with hard work and success in any endeavor – Prov 13:4 , However… the Bible teaches that success in any endeavor is under the sovereign control of God ( 1 Sam 2:7, Ps 75: 6-7, Haggai 1:5-6)
- 1 Cor 4:6- What’d do you have that you did not receive?... You have nothing that did not come to you as a gift from God.
- IT is like talking about our success of our children without acknowledgement of the gracious blessing of God.
- I.e.- Our son graduated from Stanford with summa cum laude… but to say something like: We deeply acknowledge that Johns abilities come from God and we are grateful to Him.
- Another aspect of this pride of achievement is the inordinate desire for recognition. What if we do a specific job well, and doing our job unto the Lord and we don’t get any recognition?
- Lk 17:10 “ we are unworthy servants, we have only done what was our duty.” When we have done a job well done, or served faithfully over a long time, our attitude should be,” I have only done my duty.”
- We should learn that all recognition is ultimately from God. “All if of grace” I deserve nothing, and all I do receive is only of His grace.
Pride of an Independent Spirit
- This spirit is expresses primarily in:
1. A resistance to Spiritual authority
2. an unteachable attitude
- an example of this is a single man judging others child rearing without experience himself!
Heb 13:17.”Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls…”
- an example of resistance to spiritual authority and an unteachable spirit is: “Well, I think thus and such.” No appeal to Scripture is made; it is only the person’s opinon. Yet in his or her mind, that opinion is authoritative. There is no willingness to grapple with the teaching of Scripture.
- Bible strongly teaches the value on a teachable attitude:
- Proverbs 2:1, 3:1, 4:1, 5:1, 7:1. – Isa 66:2
- These Proverbs all express the principle of teachability: willingness, even a desire, to learn from those more mature in the faith.
Selfishness
- Four areas that it may express itself:
1. with our interests – Phil 2:4- look toward the interests of others.
- Be sensitive to ask others what their interests are such as work, hobbies, and children.
- A good test of the degree of selfishness in our interests would be to reflect on the conversation you had with someone and ask how much time you spent talking about your interests versus listening to the other.
- 2 Tim 3:1-5”lovers of self”
2. with our time.
- seldom there is a “ I’ll take care of that for you.” In marriages, yet the B says in Gal 6:2- we are to ‘bear one another’s burdens’ This can be done by going beyond our normal duties to help someone.
3. with our money.
- poor giving- us, Americans are the richest nation , yet only less than 2% of income is given to religious and charitable causes.
WE are to Romans 12:15: to rejoice , and weep with those who weep.
1 Jn 3:17
4. The trait of Inconsiderateness:
- this person who is always late and keeps others waiting, and never thinks about the impact of his actions on others.
- the person whose attitude is” I just say what I think and let the chips fall where they may” is selfishly inconsiderate, because he is not thinking about the possible embarrassment, and put down of others, but only expressing his own opinion.
- the greatest aspect of unselfishness is Jesus Christ in 2 Cor 8:9, and we are to cultivate that same frame of mind ( Phil 2:5)
- Living unselfishly will COST our time and money! It will cost becoming interested in the interests, concerns and needs of others.
- IT would be good to ask those family members to point out any tendencies toward selfishness.
Lack of Self Control
- Prov 25:28- “ A man without self control is like a city broken into and left without walls”
- Solomon is an example with 700 wives and 300 concubines from other lands where the Lord said he should not take wives.
- Listed in Gal 5:22-23 and in 2 Tim 3:3 a list of vices characteristic in the last days.
- Instructions to Titus to teach self control in Titus 2:2,5,6. Also the grace that brings salvation teaches us to live self controlled lives 2:11-12.
- 1 Pt 1:13, 4:7, 5:8, 2 Pt 1:5 Peter urges us to be soberminded or self controlled.
- There is little conscious attention by Christians to this teaching on self- control.
- We seldom say “no” to our desires and emotions.
- Definition: “ It is a governance or prudent control of one’s desires, cravings, impulses, emotions, and passions. IT is moderation in legitimate desires and activities, and absolute restraint in areas that are sinful.
- Biblical self control is NOT a product of will power. IT covers every area of life and requires an unceasing conflict with the passions of the flesh that wage war against our souls. ( 1 Pt 2:11)- IT is dependent on the influence and enablement of the Holy Spirit.
- IT requires continual exposure of our mind to the Bible and prayer for the Holy Spirit to exercise self-control.
- 3 areas where we often fail to exercise it:
1. Eating and drinking. IT can cause us to see that a benign practice in food can weaken our self control in other more critical areas.
- remove or get away from what tempts us to indulge. This is addressing our lack of self-control with desires that control us.
2. Temper.- Hot tempered: a Quick intense burst of anger followed by a calm disposition. Short fuse: a person who is easily angered or irritable and who exercises little or no control over his emotions.
Warnings against this are in Proverbs 14:17, and 16:32, Jas 1:19
3. Personal finances. Lots of people in debt. Some affluent people indulge in whatever their hearts desire. Eccl 2:10. Indulging in whatever my heart desires, even if I can easily afford it is not the way to gain self control.
- Other areas would include time spent at the computer, TV, buying, hobbies, playing sports, watching sports.
Impatience
- We tend to put our “Christian face” outside the home, but with our families, our true character comes out.
- These traits are closely related.
- Impatience: a strong sense of annoyance at the (usually) unintentional faults and failures of others. This impatience is often expressed verbally in a way that tends to humiliate the person who is the object of the impatience.
- This type of impatience is usually a response to the unintentional actions of others.
- The actual Cause of impatience lies within our hearts. The circumstances of life (i.e. with our family merely provide an opportunity for the flesh to assert itself.)
- WE can be impatient about the slowness of service in a store, or restaurant. Such that you are at the post office and only want to buy stamps and the guy in front of you has 10 overseas packages to mail.
- You might want to ask your spouse to identify areas of impatience in your life. We need to acknowledge and repent of our sin of impatience.
- Verses: 1 Cor 13, Eph 4: 1-2, Col 3:12, Gal 5:22-23
Irritability
- Defined as: the frequency of impatience, or the ease with which a person can become impatient over the slightest provocation. The person who easily and frequently becomes impatient is an irritable person. Most of us can become impatient at times, but the irritable person is impatient most of the time. The irritable person is one whom you feel you have to “tiptoe around”
- Are you upset with someone or circumstance a lot of the time? You may need to learn to overlook their unintentional actions.
- Prov 19:11 ‘ It is ones glory to overlook an offense.” And 1Pt 4:8 “ Love covers a multitude of sins.
“Now suppose you are someone who is frequently the object of another’s person’s impatience. Suppose you are often criticized, chewed out, how should you respond? All to often a person will respond in kind, thus starting “ a war or words.” This approach is not only nonproductive, it is totally unbiblical. Or you may be the type who doesn’t respond verbally but inwardly seethes and resents the person who has vented his or her impatience at you. This is also a sinful response.
- what then is the Biblical response?
- 2 options:
Follow the example of Jesus who in 1 Pt 2:23 did not revile in return, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. Sometimes this may be your only Biblical option.
To confront the person who is continually impatient toward you and point out to the person examples of his or her impatience. This should only be done when you have resolved the issue in your own heart and can speak to the other person for his or her benefit, not just to make your own life more pleasant. If you have done this in a biblical manner and the person accepts what you say, you have likely enhanced your relationship w one another ( Mt 18:15)
If the person is in denial about the impatience and becomes hostile and defensive, you revert to option 1. TO do this, requires a firm belief in the sovereignty of God in every situation of life. God is likely using this persons sinful actions to help you grow in the Biblical virtues of patience and meekness ( Num 12:1-3)
“May we be as severe with ourselves over our own subtle sins as we are with the vile sins we condemn in others” May we not be like the self Righteous Pharisee.
Anger
- Anger is often directed toward those we love the most: spouse& children.
- Defined as a strong feeling of displeasure, and usually of antagonism.
- It is often accompanied by sinful emotions, words, and actions that are hurtful.
- Righteous Anger: it arise from an accurate perception of true evil—a violation against God’s moral law.
- It is always self-controlled. There is never a temper loss.
What we are focused on here is “ordinary anger” that we sort of accept as part of our lives but is actually sinful.
- Realize that no-one causes us to be angry. Someone’s words may be the occasion of our anger, but the cause lies deep within us. Usually our pride, selfishness, and desire to control. i.e.) we may be angry when someone mistreats up, or gossips about us. This is bc our reputation is questioned and our pride is the real cause!
- Usually it is pride and selfishness which are the cause of anger which lies within our hearts/
- We get angry when we don’t get our own way, such as in a marriage
- a strong and opinionated person wants to exercise control and gets angry when others oppose him.
- - 1Peter 2:18-20: “mindful of God”
- To be mindful of God means to think of God’s will and glory. How would God have me respond in this situation? Do we believe that this unjust treatment is under Gods sovereign control and he is using these circumstances to conform me more to the likeness of Christ?
- Anger can be handled 3 ways:
externalized through hurtful words
externalized through subtle sarcastic and belittling comments
internalized in the form of resentment.
How do we handle it in a God-honoring way?
Recognize it.
Acknowledge it- the sinfulness of it.
- ask yourself why you became angry? Was it because of our pride, selfishness, or idol of the heart?
We need to not only repent, but to change our attitude toward the person whose words triggered our anger. ( Eph 4:32)
Seek forgiveness of the person we have wounded by our anger.
Hand over to God the occasion of our anger.
Anger toward God
-Some Christians are angry bc they think that God has let them down in some way or actually against them. Most pop psychology would say it is ok to be angry against God and to vent your feelings toward God.
- It is never ok to be angry at God, bc it accuses Him of wrongdoing, and or treating us unfairly.
- We should bring our confusion to God in a humble and trusting way.
The Weeds of Anger
- Lists of anger is included in 2 Cor 12:20. It leads to more serious sins:
- Bitterness, wrath, slander, malice, obscene talk, clamor.
- Eph 4:26- “nip it in the bud.” Get over it quickly.
- Long term results of anger- “ weeds of anger” Weeds are always something we want to rid of.
Resentment
-is anger held on to- most often it is internalized and arises in the heart of a person who is ill treated in some way.
- usually difficult to deal with bc the person is continuing to nurse his wounds and dwell on his ill – treatment.
Bitterness
-is resentment that has grown into a feeling of ongoing animosity.
-resentment may dissipate with time, but bitterness continues to grow and fester, developing even a higher degree of ill will. Usually a long term reaction to wrong when the initial anger is not dealt with.
“I’ve forgiven him, but don’t want anything to do with him” This is not true forgiveness which results in a restored relationship and not continuing animosity.
Key thought: Anger held onto is not only sin, but is spiritually dangerous.
Anger is never static. If not dealt with, it will grow into bitterness, hostility and revenge minded grudges.
How to deal with anger using 3 basic directions:
Always look to the sovereignty of God. A firm belief in the sovereignty of God is the first defense against a temptation to allow anger to linger in the mind and emotions. Realize that the persons actions tempting you to anger are under the sovereign control of God.
We should pray that God will enable us to grow in love. 1 pt 4:8. Peter urges the readers to pursue holiness even in really rough times. In 4:8 love enables us to overlook a lot of sinful actions of other people. Love can cover many “ordinary wrongs” 1 Cor 13:5- Love is not easily angered.
Learn to forgive as God has forgiven you. Mt 18:21-35. The clear msg is that the moral debt of wrongdoing or sinful actions and words against us is nothing compared to our debt to God. So the basis of our forgiving one another is the enormity of God’s forgiveness of us.
Jerry suspects that much of our anger is not a result of significant wrongs against us but rather the manifestation of our own pride and selfishness.
Judgementalism
- subtle sin practiced under the guise of being zealous for what is right.
- There are myriad of opinions on everything from conduct to lifestyle, and we usually assume our opinion is correct.
- We equate our opinions with truth. – ie. Jerry with attire and church, where there is nothing in the Bible what we ought to wear to church. Reverence for God is not a matter of dress, but of the heart.
- Also with Jerrys preference for organ hymns v. contemporary music. IT is just a preference and not a Bible – based conviction.
- Romans 14: One issue was vegetarianism vs. eat what ever you want. Both sides were judgemental toward each other. The vegetarians thought they had the moral hight ground and looked down on their meat eating. The other side thought they had superior knowledge and they knew that what they ate made no difference to God if it was received w thanksgiving (1Tim 4:4) So they were judgemental in a different way.
- There are similar attitudes today with music, where contemporary advocates disdain the traditional.
- The same is true with temperance versus abstinence. Those who regard alcohol use as a matter of Christian liberty and are contemptuous toward those who practice abstinence. We often hide our judgementalism under the cloak of Christian convictions.
- The whole Romans 14 is Pauls response saying” stop judging one another regardless of which position you take.” (14:4- paraphrased: “ Stop trying to play God toward your fellow believers in Christ. God is the Judge, not you.”
- When we judge others whos preferences and practices are different from ours, we are arrogating to ourselves a role God has reserved for Himself.
- The seriousness of the sin of judgemntalism is that I assume the role of God.
- When a person’s lifestyle is clearly out of line with the Bible, we have a right to say that person is sinning. Lists such as Rom 1:24-32, Gal 5:19-21, 2 Tim 3:1-5.
- We can still sin when we judge in accordance with Scripture. We do so if we judge from an attitude of self-righteousness or if we judge harshly or with a spirit of censoriousness.
Doctrinal Judgmentalism
- Some teachers, claiming they are evangelical are denying Christ’s substitutionary atonement. They state that it is better to focus on the life of Christ rather than the cross, and they downplay the death of Christ saying we are meant to follow as an example his life. Sometimes Jerry has disagreed so strongly with them that he has slipped into the sin of judgementalism.
- We should express our disagreements, but should do so in a way that does not degenerate into character assassination, when we become easily hypercritical.
A Critical spirit
- Those who not only practice the sin of judgementalism from time to time, but who practice it continually. They look for and find fault with everyone and everything.
- They end up speaking in a disparaging manner.
- We understand that some of our acceptable sins, such as selfishness, impatience, and anger, are often expressed more freely at home among our family members than in public, which is also true of judgementalism. Sometimes one spouse is a continual faultfinder with another to the point where the child or adult of continual criticism begins to think he or she can’t do anything right!
- an example of a father critciszing his daughter and she felt like a reject herslf.
- It takes 7 compliments to outdo one criticism.
- Some of Jerry’s friends disagree with the manner of dress and music, but he respects their thinking and would not want to change their convictions at all.
- He takes a similar position like Paul – Rom 14:5” Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind”- Paul did not try and change anyones convictions regarding what they ate or the special days they observed.
- We don’t like ambiguity in Christian practice. IT is difficult for us to accept that one persons’s opinion can be different from ours and both of us be accepted by God. But what Paul says in Rom 14 is that if we hold our convictions with humility, it will help us avoid judgementatlism.
Envy, Jealousy & related Sins
- Envy is the painful and oftentimes resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by someone else.
- We are tempted to envy those with whom we most closely identify.
- We are tempted to envy in areas we value the most.
- When we compare ourselves to anyone whose circumstances seem better than ours we are tempted to envy.
Jealousy
- There is a subtle distinction between these two.
- Jealousy is defined as intolerance of rivalry. There are legit reasons for jealousy such as when someone is trying to win your wife away from you. Ex 20:5, God is jealous. Sinful jealousy is when we are afraid someone is going to become equal to or even superior to us.
- Ex in Acts 5:17-18 where the Jewish authorities were jealous of the apostles. Also king Saul’s jealousy of David.
- In our lives, there always seems to be a younger person coming along who is smarter or more talented than we are.
- How do we deal? First as in so many other areas, turn to the Sovereignty of God. Recognize that Gid is the one who gives us our talents, abilities.
- 1Sam 2:7, Ps 75:7
- Instead of being envious of those who have an advantage over us, we should honor and applaud them- bc Rom 12:10- outdo one another in showing honor- realizing Rom 12:5- that each member belongs to all the others.
Competitiveness
- The urge to always win, or be the top person in whatever our field of endeavor is.
- There are grown men who lose their temper when they lost or their son lost a ball game.
- Competitiveness is basically an expression of selfishness. It is the urge to win at someone elses expense and is certainly not loving our neighbor as ourselves.
- Our culture has elevated competitiveness to a virtue, saying this is the way one gets ahead in the world. However, it is questionable if it is a Christian virtue. We should do our bes ( 2Tim 2:15), and Col3:23, but this should be motivated by a desire to Glorify God and not recognition for ourselves.
- Jerry is not arguing for friendly competition, but the spirit that always has to win or be the best.
Controlling
- Envy, jealousy and competitiveness are all grouped under one word: rivalry.
- Controlling is a sin of seeking to control others to our advantage or to get what we want.
- Ie)”she wants to control everything, she always wants to get her way.”
- Usually done by the one who has the stronger, more dominant personality.
- The controller will seek to get his or her way using various methods:
o By sheer force of willpower
o By getting angry when she is questioned.
o Resort to manipulation at the end.
- this springs from selfishness. The controller is the last one to recognize this sin.
Sins of the Tongue
- Gossip, lying, slander, critical speech (Even when true), harsh words, insults, sarcasm, and ridicule. Any word that tends to tear down another person.
- Eph 4:29: no corrupting talk, none whatsoever.
- Gossip: spreading unfavorable info about someone else even if it is true.
- This seems to feed our sinful ego, especially when the infor is negatibe, it makes us feel self –righteous by comparison.
- Ask yourself:” Will what I’m about to say tend to tear down, or build up the person I’m about to talk about?
- Slander: is making a false statement about another person that damages the person’s reputation. We slander when we say a certain believer is “not commited” when he does not practice the same disciplines we do.
- Critical speech: is negative comments about someone that may be true, but doesn’t need to be said. Ie- he is not a good student.
- Ask ourselves these questions: IS it needful? Is it kind? Does it need to be said?
- harshwords, sarcasm, insults, and ridicule, and these all tend to put down or humiliate the other person. This often comes from an attitude of impatience or anger. Mt 12:34. The real problem is our heart.
Worldliness
- is a much broader than just a list of prohibited activites.
- 1 Jn 2:15-16 , 1 Cor 7:31 “those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. – we should use the things of the world and handle them with care, lest they become too important to us.
- Defined as: being attached to, engrossed in, or preoccupied with the things of this temporal life.
- Col 3:2- we should focus and value most spiritual things such as: the Bible, prayer, the gospel, obedience, and the great commission and God Himself.
- Secondary definition: it means accepting the values, mores and practices of the nice, but unbelieving society around us without discerning wheter those practices are biblical. Worldliness is just going along with the culture around us as long as that culture is not obviously sinful.
- Three areas that have become acceptable sins to us are money, immorality and idolatry.
- Money
- We are keeping more to ousrselves and using it on things of this life- houses, cars, clothes etc..
- NT giving is to give as God has prospered us- 1 Cor 16:2, 2 Cor 8:12)
- Is God pleased when we give less than half of what the Jews gave, especially when HE described their failure to give their tithe as robbery of Him ( Mal 3:8)
- We cannot serve God and money and it appears that money is winning out over God. If money wins out in our lives, , then 1 Tim 6:10- then we lose. God does not need our money. If we spend it on ourselves, it is we who become spiritual paupers.
- Meditate on 1 Kings 17:8-16- Fed Elijah first , then God has always provided.
- Deut 8:17-18: realize that our ability to earn comes from God. Giving back 10% is a tangible expression of our recognition of our thanksgiving to Him for it.
Immorality:
- In what sense do we tolerate immorality?
- Vicrious immorality: Do we secretly enjoy reading about the immorality of other people whose sezual misconduyct is reported in the news?
- If we go to movies, or rd novels about sexuallt explicit sins, will be vicarious immorality.
- Prv 27:20 and Rom 6:21- vs immorality
Idolatry
- “ idols of the heart”: anything we place such a high value on that it tends to absorb our emotional and mental energy, time or resources. Or it can be anything that takes precedence over our relationship with God and family.
- Career can become an idol where God and family take 2nd place.
- Also cultural or political issues can be areas of idolatry, where we stand to support marriage v. homosexuality and life v. abortion.
- Also 3rd area is our consuming passion for sports. Keep sports in perspective. Its only a game.
- We tend toward worldliness bc we just go along with the values and practices around society.
Thomas Chalmers: “ The Expulsive, Power of a New Affection”
The way to grow in our new affection is to grow in our awareness of Christ love for us as revealed to us in the Gospel.
- Paul said that Christs love for us that constrains us. Such love for Him that will drive out our love for the world can only be a response to the deep, heartfelt sense of His love for us.
- The worse sin is the denial of the subtle sins in our lives.
Ask for honest feedback from your spouse. Do not respond and just listen. Do not become defensive. Ask them to rate you in each area according to a scale:
- not a problem
- occasionally a problem
- frequently a problem
- Characteristic of your life.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Crying loudly...
I was sitting in my hotel room recounting the funeral service and its effect on me. Then I burst into a steady stream of uncontrollable tears... Not usually like me. In fact my wife said in our 2.5 years of marriage- (and 2 years of dating), she has never seen me cry like that.
A really good friend of mine had his father pass away quite suddenly. The loss must be incalculable. His father was a joyful, Christian man who loved the Lord. In fact, the eulogy and all the speeches said of him, strongly motivated me to love my wife more, and live for God's glory. I sensed his incredible love for his wife, and could taste it in the slideshow. In this slideshow, almost every picture was of him and his wife and family.
He was a man who lived with a Christ-like love - toward his sons, and grandchildren and perhaps mostly toward his wife. A clear portrayal of Eph 5:25 of Husbands loving their wives as Christ loved the church, giving Himself up for her... I wondered what his relationship with his wife really was like.
There was a beautiful picture of him framed at his own funeral. This picture was awesome. It was a close up of him smiling and you could sense his happiness. Knowing something of him, I was greatly encouraged to see him pursue Seminary studies admist his retirement. I was even more touched at his ministry he helped blossom in a central CA city admist the local Chinese. What fruit for God's glory! It reminds me of Psalm 92: 14They will still (AC)yield fruit in old age; They shall be [a]full of sap and very green"... But he was not old. Mid 60's.
A man who died well. Who loved his wife, family, and the Lord Jesus Christ. Where you could sense this love deeply at his own funeral. A jam packed crowd - overflowing even to the outside with standing room only, paying their respects.
So... what really propelled me into tears, and even so as I write this is at the burial itself. You have these 4 green chairs, that are nicely positioned for family to sit during the burial service. And who sat there was mainly his wife. She was there with her grandkids and daughter in law. She was sitting there holding that picture I wrote about earlier. She brought the picture out, which was a sign of her deep love for him. She was holding this picture, and embracing it... all I could do was cry out of such a loss. She is losing the greatest man she loved the most. And he was an awesome man who loved his family like no other. She was holding this picture and just clutching on to it with such affection. You could see it a mile away. I mean she just missed him so, so , so much. I got the sense that she loved him more and more as the years went on.
I would love for my marriage to look like his. I would love to even experience a taste of his love for his wife-.
There is joy admist all this suffering. A joy in this man's God. A joy in God's glorious gospel.
A joy in knowing that this man, though he dies on earth, enters into his ultimate hope- Christ Himself, face to face in heaven for eternity.
I cannot begin to understand the Lord's ways as He decided to take him home. I have been reading with Peggy- Jerry Bridges book on God's sovereignty and suffering and was comforted in that there are 3 essential truths that are always true and to be relied upon admist adversity:
1. God is completely sovereign
2. God is infinite in wisdom
3. God is perfect in love.
I do pray for my friend, his family , and especially for his mom that God would provide the grace and comfort needed during such a difficult time.
Chris
A really good friend of mine had his father pass away quite suddenly. The loss must be incalculable. His father was a joyful, Christian man who loved the Lord. In fact, the eulogy and all the speeches said of him, strongly motivated me to love my wife more, and live for God's glory. I sensed his incredible love for his wife, and could taste it in the slideshow. In this slideshow, almost every picture was of him and his wife and family.
He was a man who lived with a Christ-like love - toward his sons, and grandchildren and perhaps mostly toward his wife. A clear portrayal of Eph 5:25 of Husbands loving their wives as Christ loved the church, giving Himself up for her... I wondered what his relationship with his wife really was like.
There was a beautiful picture of him framed at his own funeral. This picture was awesome. It was a close up of him smiling and you could sense his happiness. Knowing something of him, I was greatly encouraged to see him pursue Seminary studies admist his retirement. I was even more touched at his ministry he helped blossom in a central CA city admist the local Chinese. What fruit for God's glory! It reminds me of Psalm 92: 14They will still (AC)yield fruit in old age; They shall be [a]full of sap and very green"... But he was not old. Mid 60's.
A man who died well. Who loved his wife, family, and the Lord Jesus Christ. Where you could sense this love deeply at his own funeral. A jam packed crowd - overflowing even to the outside with standing room only, paying their respects.
So... what really propelled me into tears, and even so as I write this is at the burial itself. You have these 4 green chairs, that are nicely positioned for family to sit during the burial service. And who sat there was mainly his wife. She was there with her grandkids and daughter in law. She was sitting there holding that picture I wrote about earlier. She brought the picture out, which was a sign of her deep love for him. She was holding this picture, and embracing it... all I could do was cry out of such a loss. She is losing the greatest man she loved the most. And he was an awesome man who loved his family like no other. She was holding this picture and just clutching on to it with such affection. You could see it a mile away. I mean she just missed him so, so , so much. I got the sense that she loved him more and more as the years went on.
I would love for my marriage to look like his. I would love to even experience a taste of his love for his wife-.
There is joy admist all this suffering. A joy in this man's God. A joy in God's glorious gospel.
A joy in knowing that this man, though he dies on earth, enters into his ultimate hope- Christ Himself, face to face in heaven for eternity.
I cannot begin to understand the Lord's ways as He decided to take him home. I have been reading with Peggy- Jerry Bridges book on God's sovereignty and suffering and was comforted in that there are 3 essential truths that are always true and to be relied upon admist adversity:
1. God is completely sovereign
2. God is infinite in wisdom
3. God is perfect in love.
I do pray for my friend, his family , and especially for his mom that God would provide the grace and comfort needed during such a difficult time.
Chris
Friday, September 12, 2008
Authenticity
SO...
I was thinking and planning for a kids Bible study with 3-12 year olds and came up with this!
Spurious... a hard word. But the main verses I was thinking about was John 14:15, 21,23.
Main thought: Love and obedience are NOT the same thing. Love is the ROOT. Obedience is the Fruit.
I know....
Terrible artist. Even worse in real life! Thought I'd have some fun with it!
Chris
Friday, August 8, 2008
A Disciplined and Prudent Life
Reading Proverbs , and meditating on my 10 min commute (haha..) makes me think and ask myself: Am I living a disciplined and prudent life? My past job had me in at 7AM with a job commute of 45 min or more, which forced me to get up earlier. When I took my recent job, I have begun to slack in my early morning discipline routine, which makes me wonder, if I am habitually really fighting sin in this regard. John Owen, the great puritan scholar, wrote in his treatise on mortification: A weakening of the lust/sin is true mortification. In this regard, I am not weakening my fleshly desire to stay in bed even on a summer morning! What will become of me in the winter months when it is that much colder outside!
I've been slack secondary to my reasoning with myself:
1) In January of 09, I will most likely be sleep deprived! from our first baby- & need to store up rest/sleep. And generally: If I dont sleep enough, I will be fatigued during my work day.
2) I have been tired from all the daily tasks in the home and at work and need the extra sleep
3) Recent episode of neck and upper back pain- leading to discomfort and less motivation.
4) I have more time in the morning now before I have to go to work.
5) Worst of all: thinking: :"I am actually not too bad, and ok in my spiritual disciplines"
These reasons are on the surface reasonable and good, however, I got to thinking that, the more I let my body win the morning battle against laziness and sleep, I may drift from Christ and drift from a vigorous and fruitful life in the Lord. I was also thinking CJ mahaney is right in his book on humility, where when we think we dont need to get up and spend time with the Lord in Scripture, we are acting and thinking in pride. We are prideful because of our thinking that we are okay and dont need that fresh drinking of the sweet grace of the gospel found in the pages of the Bible.
So 5 more reasons to battle my struggles with sleeping in.
1) You dont need that much sleep. Your body will be fine and even better with less because your spirit will be renewed in the riches of knowing God's Word.
2) Get up! Realize your utter bankruptcy before the Lord and need for Him! Consider Matt 5:3- "Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven"
3) You will 99% of the time never regret the decision to get up that extra bit earlier, because of the imeasurable profits that come from spending time in God's Word.
4) Scripture is incomparably valuable. They are eternal. As Jesus said in Matt 24:35- "Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away." They lead to a joy deep down. Ps 19:8- The precepts of the right, rejoicing the heart.
5) Your family needs you. That is, needs you to spiritually lead by example, discipline, and to stay humble before the Lord.
Just some quick thoughts this past day. Maybe my thoughts are far off, but hope to encourage by them.
Chris
I've been slack secondary to my reasoning with myself:
1) In January of 09, I will most likely be sleep deprived! from our first baby- & need to store up rest/sleep. And generally: If I dont sleep enough, I will be fatigued during my work day.
2) I have been tired from all the daily tasks in the home and at work and need the extra sleep
3) Recent episode of neck and upper back pain- leading to discomfort and less motivation.
4) I have more time in the morning now before I have to go to work.
5) Worst of all: thinking: :"I am actually not too bad, and ok in my spiritual disciplines"
These reasons are on the surface reasonable and good, however, I got to thinking that, the more I let my body win the morning battle against laziness and sleep, I may drift from Christ and drift from a vigorous and fruitful life in the Lord. I was also thinking CJ mahaney is right in his book on humility, where when we think we dont need to get up and spend time with the Lord in Scripture, we are acting and thinking in pride. We are prideful because of our thinking that we are okay and dont need that fresh drinking of the sweet grace of the gospel found in the pages of the Bible.
So 5 more reasons to battle my struggles with sleeping in.
1) You dont need that much sleep. Your body will be fine and even better with less because your spirit will be renewed in the riches of knowing God's Word.
2) Get up! Realize your utter bankruptcy before the Lord and need for Him! Consider Matt 5:3- "Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven"
3) You will 99% of the time never regret the decision to get up that extra bit earlier, because of the imeasurable profits that come from spending time in God's Word.
4) Scripture is incomparably valuable. They are eternal. As Jesus said in Matt 24:35- "Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away." They lead to a joy deep down. Ps 19:8- The precepts of the right, rejoicing the heart.
5) Your family needs you. That is, needs you to spiritually lead by example, discipline, and to stay humble before the Lord.
Just some quick thoughts this past day. Maybe my thoughts are far off, but hope to encourage by them.
Chris
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